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Potential recruits and their parents/guardians should know as much as possible about military life before the decision whether to join; new recruits have no legal right to leave the armed forces for a long period once the first few months have passed after enlistment.

If you are in a position to support a young person to make an informed choice about whether to enlist, please do so. Use this site, talk with the young person concerned and go to the recruitment office with or without him/her and ask recruiters as many questions as possible - they promise to give straight answers to your questions. The armed forces produce guides for parents of potential recruits; these can be helpful but do not answer the more difficult questions.

Recruiters prefer to meet with a parent during the application process, especially in the case of under-18s, but many young people don't want their parents involved. As a result, most recruits join the armed forces without their parents ever having met with recruiters and they often have unrealistic expectations of their new career.

What to ask recruiters

• What are the rules for leaving regular service?
• How much reserve service do recruits have to fulfil after leaving regular service?
• What happens if a recruit leaves before they are entitled to do so?
• What educational opportunities are there?
• How much adventurous training is given?
• What does a typical working day involve?
• How many recruits drop out of training, and why?
• What are the levels of bullying and harassment in the armed forces?
• What are the risks while on operations?
• What's the pay like and what are the opportunities for promotion?
• What are the rules governing conscientious objection to military service?
• What kind of support is available to recruits if they experience problems such as homesickness, depression, stress etc.
• How many personnel are laid off for 'service no longer required' each year?
• How often can recruits visit home a) during training b) after training?
• What do I do if I need to make a complaint on behalf of a recruit?
• How much of a shock in the transition to a military lifestyle for new recruits?
• Do all recruits have to kill as part of their role?

What to ask potential recruits

If a potential recruit has good answers to all the following questions then they are probably better prepared than most to manage their experience of military life.

• Why do you want to join?
• Are you aware that after the first few months you would have no legal right to leave regular service for a long time, usually several years?
• Are you aware that you would be obliged to serve in the reserve after leaving regular service, and what this means?
• Are you aware of when you could use your right of discharge in the first few months after enlistment (when it would begin and end), how to apply for it, and that the end of this period would be an absolute deadline?
• How would you feel about having to kill as part of your job (which all service personnel may be ordered to do even if not in a front-line role)?
• How would you feel about the prospect of coming under fire at risk of your life (which is a possibility for all personnel even if not in a front-line role)?
• Are you aware of the risks of combat stress and other mental health problems?  How would you cope with that?
• Are you aware that bullying and sexual harassment exist in the armed forces?  How would you cope with that?
• Most recruits get a shock when they find that military life is very different from civilian life - how would you cope with that?
• You might have to spend long periods away from home, family and friends - how do you feel about that?
• Are you aware that if you took extra training courses you might have to postpone your legal right to leave regular service?
• Are you aware that if you started to feel a moral objection to military operations then you might be able to claim 'conscientious objector' status and be honourably discharged?
• Are you aware that the drop-out rate in training is quite high, and many people leave as soon as their minimum service period is over - what would make you different?
• What are the best and worst things about a military career in your view?

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